What not to write

Winter is on us like a big, heavy, grey blanket and it seems to be suffocating my need to blog.

But we're good, don't worry! The shop is doing great, and since it's not nearly as cold as last year, we're not even freezing our asses off inside like we usually do.

I believe our often partially dressed clients appreciate that too!

Allan is busy working on his art show and his book, Nick is tattooing almost every day as well as working on his new web comic, and Eckel... where is Eckel anyway? I believe he's in Hamburg today, actually. And also tattooing a lot, when he is around. And next weekend he'll be moping around Brighton, mumbling about some vegan burger joint that no longer exists.

So yeah, all is well at the Conspiracy, gloominess aside!

Me and Allan's trip to Japan is moving closer and closer, and just to emphasize how much we friggin miss that place, we've already bought tickets to go back in April, which should be good news for all the people Allan won't have time to tattoo on this coming trip.

Speaking of clients and booking, i do have a bit of practical info, possibly in rant form, that i could squeeze into this post!

You see, i have started to book from the Uncle Allan waiting list, and all in all it's going ok.

Except for a couple of things...

1. Some people still don't seem to understand that you shouldn't write a bunch of questions to the waiting list. I will not email you back, and you will not be added to the list.

If you have any questions, ask them before submitting your ideas to the waiting list, and ask them via our regular mail.

2. You will also not be added to the list if you don't include tattoo ideas and placement.

Also, it's up to you to think of something interesting for Allan to do. Try to make it fun. 

If i'm going through the waiting list and the choice is between someone with an awesome, well thought out tattoo idea, pictures of placement and reference, all wrapped up in a polite email, and a dude who's whole email goes something like this; "hey, i wanna get tattooed, i don't know what i want, so just do whatever, i don't care", well... it's not a super hard choice, is it?

3. Lots of people apparently only read the part of this page that has the email address in it, and so again, those people, who don't read the whole thing (yes, i know it's long) and leave important stuff out, they won't be added to the list.

4. If you get impatient and decide to go get tattooed somewhere else, at least have the courtesy to send us an email, so we can take your name off the list. If you sign up for a service of any kind, anywhere, and decide to back out for whatever reason, you let people know, right? 

This especially goes out to the people who couldn't wait for Allan and decided to get tattooed by Eckel instead. It's fine if you don't have the patience to wait, but for christs sake, let us know so i don't waste time writing emails offering you dates to get tattooed!

5. You don't get to chose the date you get tattooed, another thing that's explained on this page, so if you write an email saying "i'd like to get tattooed in June 2012", that's probably not gonna happen. Once we book you, we'll do whatever we can to find a date that works for everyone, but until then, you shouldn't assume you can get tattooed whenever you feel like it.

Whoa, with the angry teacher-type ranting, sorry about that, but seriously, a good third of the mails i get for the waiting list are either missing information or missing the point.

But the rest of them, those who get it right, we're so grateful that they take the time to read all the rules, come up with fun projects and wait patiently for Allan to have time to tattoo them!

If you read Allan's blog, you already know that he has claimed the month of March for his book project, but as soon as that's done, it's back to regular booking!

Ok, if you've read this far, you deserve some friggin tattoo pictures.

And even if you've only skimmed this... whatever, you still came by to read the blog, so you deserve some pretty pictures too!

Here's a couple of newer Eckel tattoos, one from 2011 and one from 2012. Enjoy!

Tattoo by Eckel

Tattoo by Eckel

 

Tattoo by Eckel

 

 Ps. Sorry for the obvious iPhone pictures... ahem...

Just the right amount of cute

I don't actually have time for a real, proper post right now (although i do believe i owe you one), but i had to post this tattoo that Eckel did on Rasmus today, cause it's pretty much the sweetest thing ever.
Don't you agree?

*Insert sound of me sneezing*

It's Tuesday, and we're back to work after a long and surprisingly unproductive break.

I'm not super bummed about being back to work, but that's not saying that today couldn't have been just a little easier. 

For the first time in what seems like a very long time the weather is cold and wet, i have a vicious cold that makes me sneeze every 5-10 seconds, and there's a mysterious draft coming from somewhere in my office (most likely the very old window, although i can't feel anything when i'm standing over there?) which is not helping with the whole sneezing situation.

But it could be worse. At least we have a work-from-home day tomorrow already.

Yeah, we're easing back into it for sure.

But although we've had time off, Allan did tattoo for a couple of days last week.

Max came from Russia to get his lower arm done, and to give us some sweet Russian souvenirs, and Martin came down from Norway to finish his frontpiece (something he wasn't quite prepared for) and to start a new piece on his lower leg.

A couple of brutal days, for us and the troopers.

Russian souvenirs!

Martins frontpiece of doom

 I was taking a picture of this fancy gentleman werewolf Eckel did on Brian, and i somehow managed to fit everyone in the picture!

Allan tattooing Martin, day two

Oh, and in case you missed it, we have a guest artist coming in the end of the month, and you should all get tattooed by him  (well, not all, but some of you should)!

Bird tattoos (and a tiny little rant)

Man, it feels so weird to be in Copenhagen and not at work 24-7.
And by weird i mean fantastic!

Eckel is still in Thailand and Allan doesn't have to tattoo until next week, so we only go to the shop once in a while to hang out and ship out prints.
More about them later, since there may be a deadline coming up.
Anyway, i had some pictures uploaded from weeks ago that i just forgot to publish.
So here, surprise, tattoo pictures!

Here's Martin, a shop regular, who on this day forgot his comfy pants and had to wear, uhm, alternative leg-wear!

Fancy gentleman by Eckel

Me taking a picture of Eckel taking a picture of the fancy gentleman!

A good old Danish "skarv" by Eckel (that's a cover-up, by the way)

Peacock by Uncle Allan, started years ago and finished in March

As you can see, i've started watermarking our pictures again.

I'm getting so sick of seeing the guys' work floating around the internet, on various tumblr's in particular, uncredited.

There are too many people reblogging this shit to begin with, and mindless reposting of other peoples work is annoying in itself, but when they start to remove links and credit, well, that's when i get mad.

If you see any examples of this, please feel free to snitch and let me know so i can have them removed.

And if you, or someone you know, wishes to use our pictures, all you have to do is ask and make sure the image links back to this blog.

Easy as that.

Happy birthday to us!!

Yes, you read that right, it's our birthday!
Today it's been exactly a year since the big move from Nansensgade to Schleppegrellsgade.
I would have liked to do a huge month-by-month post documenting the last year and all the progress we've made, but, as usual, i don't really have the time.

One year ago i would have laughed if anyone had told me that we still wouldn't be completely finished with working on the shop on our first birthday, but at that time none of us knew how many things could possibly go wrong.
And considering the amount of crap we've been through, i actually think the shops current condition (which is "almost done" and "totally awesome") is pretty impressive.
I don't even mind waiting a few more months with the opening party!

Like we have for the past year, we're still going to flea markets all the time, this is one of our latest finds

And this is what it looks like in our amazing new work room

 And just so ya'll have something pretty to look at, here's the worlds most giant armpit tattoo, by Eckel

Alright, i'm gonna go celebrate our big day by scrubbing some tubes...
Yay?

Stolen diamonds

Ok, this is embarrassing, but i have actually been working on this post for a week now.
Not constantly, of course, but on and off.
So much keeps happening at the shop, so every time i'm about to hit "publish" i remember this one thing i need pictures of, and then i decide to wait.
Well it ends here!

On Sunday, and that's last Sunday, not the one we just had, our glorious new wallpaper was put up in the work room.
That room never really became what we'd hoped for the first time around, and in comparison to the other rooms it just seemed a little too... not us.
And with Nick leaving we needed to do some major remodeling anyway, so we decided to go all out.
We sold the old desks, ordered some wallpaper from our favorite wallpaper pushers, bought wood for the paneling and convinced our painters and carpenters to do the actual dirty work for us.
Morten already did the paneling on Thursday, so everything was ready to be painted and wallpapered up.

Fancy

Poor Morten, trying to tame the crooked walls

 Me, Allan and Eckel started the day by going to the flea market to get some new, old furniture and while we did that, our two trusty painters got started on the wallpapering and painting.

There was quite a lot to be done, and at one point it looked like there wouldn't be enough wallpaper for the whole thing, but you know our painters; even when they're wrong they're right!

So they made it with only scraps to spare and it looked amaaaazing.

In progress

Stolen diamonds... no, really

 

We put our marks on the wall before the wallpaper came up...

... this will be there FOREVER!

Everyone joined in

Remember this?

The following Sunday, yesterday (or day before since it's technically Tuesday i guess) the painters finished the black panels and the red wall.
It looks so amazing and i can't wait to get stuff on the walls and make the room come together.
Epic is not too big a word.

The red wall

Eckel started on his corner today 

The other rooms are getting small makeovers as we go along too, here's what the office looks like now

The small orange couch now lives in the drawing room... off limits, as it should be

Oh, and tattoos still happen here too, here's one that Eckel did of Danish national treasure, Lars Von Trier (i'm sure you're all very nice, but if you don't know him, we can't be friends)

 

I'll be back with more work room pictures as soon as things are looking a little less chaotic than they are now!

The fox and the ratter

Today we got word that construction is gonna start on the kitchen in about 8 days.
I however, am not gonna get excited because, as regular readers may have already noticed, not a damn thing happened the last time someone told us "within a week".
Whatever, it has to happen some time, right?

Anyway, tattoos!

Here's what Eckel did on Zule today.
Oh, and Lucifer is back home after an extended weekend in the country with his human grandparents, and he was so excited to be back that he snuck into the forbidden zone, and managed to get in the picture too.

A fox and a Prague Ratter (who appears to be very interested in whatever Eckel is telling him)

Here's a majestic piece of embroidery that Allan bought for my office while i was sick

And, uhm, i actually bought this guy for the apartment (don't judge me) but i haven't figured out a safe way to bring him home on my bike yet

My parents brought us apples and pears

And Allans client Morten brought cake!

Allan posted the tattoos he did in London, so go check those out!
And also, go check out some pictures a friend took at the shop not too long ago.
Her blog is awesome, by the way, so stay and check out her work while you're there.

Supplemental

Here's another view of the horse tattoo Eckel posted on his blog a few days ago.
Yes, on his blog.
A picture.
Of a tattoo.
I know, right?

Side

Front

Aaaand a whole different view, that you maybe didn't wanna see

Sorry for traumatizing y'all, i'll make up for it with more pretty tattoo pictures in the near future, and maybe even a finished shot of this!

Oh dear...

Sunday was a very silly day at the shop.
Silly because we were even there on our day off, and silly because the guys decided to tattoo each other.
Not just any tattoos, super realistic portraits.
Yup, just you wait and see.

But first, here's Lucifer, probably the smartest guy at Conspiracy Inc. that day

I was a little sick, so i took a nap while Eckel tattooed Chriss

This is the result of tattoo number 1: sad, crying emo Allan!

Then Allan tattooed Eckel...

Tattoo number 2: Antler Chriss (or is that Antler Jebus? It's hard to tell...)
Double antler awesomeness!
I got tattooed by Chriss as well, not a portrait though!

Last not-so-happy customer of the day: Allan

Tattoo number 3: Eckel puking upside down crosses... obviously!

Chriss went home today and we totally miss him already.
He's an awesome guy (and a good house guest) and having him as our first guest artist at the shop since we moved was just perfect.
I'll post pictures of the tattoos he did while he was here as soon as Allan transfers them to his computer, so that's something to look forward to!

This is what happens when you let Chriss work at your station...*

*Yes, that really is Eckel!

The bear and the egg man

I wasn't really gonna blog here until i had some news on the never ending front room, but since it looks like it'll be a few more days (or weeks, who the fuck knows at this point?) i changed my mind.
So here are some tattoos, before people start to forget about those.

Mathilda is looking relieved and relaxed after a short, but painful, session

And what did she get? A bear, of course!
How cute is this guy!?

And here's what Allan did today, a new (but not quite finished) addition to Björn from Germany's sleeve

Oh, there was one little front room update that i almost forgot about: hidden treasures under the very old wallpaper!
Gotta love those.

Who you gonna call? The Egg man!*

*No, really, this is the phone number for the egg man, whoever he was... the four digits prove that this was written some time ago.